Lily and Chloe are getting so big! They go for their six month checkup on Friday. Lily weighs about 12 pounds and Chloe weighs almost 14 lbs. One thing that really helped me is a book called Chaos to Calm-the moms-of multiples guide to an organized family. It may sound totally uptight of me, but I now have a chart for each girl that outlines each feeding, how much they took, when they used the bathroom, when they nap, play, etc. I also made a chart of household chores so we can be more effective in getting things done each week. Just making the charts has given me peace of mind. Sometimes I'm so tired that it's hard to remember who ate when and how much. This way I will always be on track.
Lily and Chloe at 5 months-can you tell which is which?
Next week I go back to work and the girls start daycare. I have gotten some flack over this decision and that has really upset me. I get tired of the judgmental looks when I say they're going to daycare. First of all, I have to work. I cannot stay home. Even though daycare will cost $1700 per month (yes, you read that number right) I still make more than that and we have to pay our bills. What about a nanny, you ask? After much discussion, we felt daycare would be a more social environment. We want them to be close with each other and I know they will be, but daycare gives them the opportunity to be with other children, as well. The location we've selected is wonderful. For $1700 per month, it better be! The babies all looked very happy when we visited and they have cameras in the room so I can log in from my desk and see how they are doing. Lily and Chloe are VERY social girls and love meeting new people. I want to continue to encourage this. They say "absence makes the heart grow fonder." I cannot imagine how much fonder my heart can grow for these children, but think it will be healthy for all of us. I have a wonderful new job to go to and will be two minutes from the girls. So, does it make me a bad mom that I am looking forward to going back to work?
Lily Rose
Sometimes I don't write in this blog because I am too concerned with what I am writing, meaning, I think about something to write and then choose not to write. One thing I have learned since February is something my dad once told me, you don't have time for foolishness. Before the girls, I was active in several organizations. During the past few months, I have truly learned who my true friends are and have been terribly hurt by some since then, but on the other hand, there are some people I have re-connected with after several years that turned out to be true friends all along. I don't have much time for the things I was previously involved in, and that's okay. My priorities have changed and I've grown as a person. As it turns out, the things that hurt me so badly were just foolishness, miscommunication, and people blowing things out of proportion for the sake of keeping drama going. I have learned to not be so naive and trusting and I am now choosing to surround myself with people who are positive, caring individuals. I have always been extremely open, trusting, and willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, even at the expense of my own feelings. I want everyone to be happy and try to fix things so people can all get along. I have learned that I can't always fix things or make everyone happy. Call me what you will, but I still care about these people I considered my friends and my heart aches for the loss of their friendship. I pray weekly for those who have hurt me that they will find peace and happiness in their lives and now realize it's no longer about me. Lily and Chloe are our two precious gifts and they come first.
So, how did I get my groove back?
1) I am married to the most patient, caring man who is truly my partner. He is my rock.
2) We have incredibly supportive friends and family
3) I have learned to organize my time more efficiently
4) We have been attending church regularly as a family. I believe in the power of prayer.
5) I have learned to love and care about those who have hurt me and am able to move past the pain through prayer for their happiness.
6) I WENT SHOPPING! Okay, maybe that seems a little strange, but my friends Melissa, Jan, and Abby took me shopping last weekend. It was the first time I'd really been shopping in months and it was mindless, girly fun. (I even found a pair of totally impractical candy apple red heels discounted to $8.00-woo hoo!)
Many blessings to all of you who read this blog. If you are reading this, I consider you my friend. I keep this blog public because it is my true hope that someone will read it one day and be helped by what they read. No matter how difficult things get:
"Behind all this, some great happiness is hiding."
— Yehuda Amichai
— Yehuda Amichai
Much love to all, Nic-
