Practicing Patience

While I originally started writing this blog to keep friends and family informed, it is my sincere hope that someone will read it who is going through a similar situation and will be helped or comforted by it in some way.  When we started the adoption process, we never thought it would play out like this.  Our situation is unusual, but parents who either have children in the NICU currently, or have been through the NICU with a child, will understand what it's like.  It is all about practicing patience.  It seems like we have a different nurse every day.   We have to advocate for Lily, ask questions, request to talk to the doctor, etc.  We rarely receive phone calls.  Instead, we have to call them ourselves.  I get tired of calling up there and hearing a new nurse say, "It's my first day working with her.  She's pretty fussy."  I want to say, "No kidding?!  She's hungry because she can't eat a lot or she will spit up!"  I know that when I'm on a diet and I'm hungry I'm not the easiest person to get along with.  I'm gripy, whiney, etc.  I want people who know my child and understand the situation and it certainly doesn't help me feel any better to know she is hungry or in pain because I'm at home with Chloe and can't help the situation be any better.

Chloe looks in the mirror of her play gym

It's common for twins to go home from the hospital at different times and while I know this time will pass eventually, it's so hard right now.  I can't just go up to the hospital with Chloe and see Lily because Chloe can't get back in.  I am fortunate to have a husband and mother-in-law who are at the hospital pretty much every day.  I see Lily every other day when Brice gets home from work, but the last few times I've been there it's been hard because she is really fussy.  I don't want her to be uncomfortable.  I just want to love her and hug her and tell her everything is going to be all right.

Lily loves to snuggle and be swaddled in blankets

The hardest question we get from people is, "When is she coming home?"  Trust me, if we knew the answer to that question, everyone would know.  It hurts because 1) we want her home with us so badly and 2) we have no answers.  The answer from the hospital is always, "She'll come home when she's ready."  I can promise all of you one thing, when she comes home there will be a big announcement and big celebration!

We are not unique in our struggle.  There are countless families navigating the NICU every day.  I have met so many of them and heard their stories.  It's like this secret society I did not know existed, yet, there is very little support other than just chatting with the other families when they're in there and sharing our experiences.  You have to be strong, have faith, and stay positive and that is difficult sometimes.  I think that's true for anyone going through an extended hospital experience.  While I'm on the subject, I'd like to send a "shout out" to my student Teja who reads this blog.  She is one of the strongest, most brave young women I know and I send her many blessings.

Thank you all for reading and for being a part of our lives....the adventure continues.